Things that go CRACK! in the Night

Journal entry, Wednesday, July 16, 8:09pm
I've got kind of an intense situation going on right now. I'm up in my treehouse in Kibale National Park, it's perfectly dark outside, and I'm hearing things – big, mammoth things – moving around outside. Something is crashing through the bushes and trees just 30ft away from my perch.

the treehouse

I started hearing the noises as I was walking back from dinner, a ten minute hike through utterly dark forest with just an old paraffin lantern to guide the way. As I neared the treehouse I heard some giant animal smashing through the trees, heavy footfalls thudding on the damp ground. (In fairness, those heavy footfalls may have been mine – I was sprinting to the treehouse. The lantern swung wildly at my side, casting freaky, choppy light through the bush. What a relief when the giant ladder came into view!)

The crashing in the bush is coming closer, trees bending, snapping. Now a pause. I get the feeling that there's a great beast who's thinking out there, just a few feet away.

A loud snort! Maybe it's a water buffalo? That's more likely than…

More crashing!

I just held the lantern out the main window to get a look. Succeeded in blinding myself. Silence. Then the crashing continued, more agitated than before. I get the feeling that, whatever it is, it's getting annoyed.

I took a closer look at the treehouse supports. This place is up on a bunch of stilts and it's also anchored to a fat center tree. Solid. An elephant couldn't… No. Why would they want to? And if a berserk elephant decided to push this house down, what are the odds of her doing so tonight?

Heaven help me – an elephant right out front just blasted her trumpet! Tremendous noise! Sent me leaping off the floor.

morning window view

Sweet baby monkeys! There's a new source of crashing now in the distance!

Ahh! Crashing to the north too!

It's a nighttime gathering of the elephants, and I'm right in the crossfire.

I've turned the lantern down as low as it'll go – no use in attracting attention up here.

You've got to be kidding me – a shot just rang out.

Poachers?

Wait – that was a tree being cracked over!

The elephants are breaking trees! Damn big ones too! And here I am sitting in a…

perfectly harmless, right?

No, no, no. Don't think about it. Just put out the lantern, stay quiet. Think about all the good elephant stories. Dumbo – he was a good one, right? And those elephants I rode in Asia – they wouldn't want to push over a treehouse and stomp on the person inside, would they? And that book I read about the English guy who rode an elephant across India – they practically fell in love.

Yes! That's the spirit. Elephants are perfectly harmless.

Right?